My husband is in a care home

Written on 12/08/2020 12:00 am

Contribution by Anonymous

My husband is in a care home with Picks dementia, in February he recognised me held bits of conversation may have been repetitive but still talked at the end of February I had to go into hospital and went home on the 11 March on the 13 March his home went into lockdown we were promised regular video links which rarely happened that one Friday received a call to say I could garden visit for an hour, I was walking on cloud nine! the following day I arrived no one knew what they were doing did not have a key to the garden I did catch sight of him for a few second the next week had a call to say garden visits would not go ahead. They have now started to allow window visits originally for an hour then it was cut to 20 minutes whatever days you wanted then on the 24 July I received a letter saying that residents will be allowed one 20 minute visit a week (not must when there are 10,080 in a week). We have been married for 36 years and together for 40, now he does not recognise me looks lost and confused has to be assisted with all of his meals in February he was still able to feed himself with odd occasions when he needed help. I had hoped that with regular visits 4/5 times a week he would get comfortable with me but with just 20 minutes I do not know if he will ever remember me or be comfortable with me. In fact he has not spoken to me since 2 May on one of the rare video calls. He has deteriorated so much in such a short period of time it is heart breaking whilst I know dementia is not a curable illness the rapid deterioration has been awful. One day perhaps they will allow us proper visiting at the end of the day I would be less risk to their staff and residents as I live alone and work from home, than they agency staff the home constantly use. It is so hard to see such a caring loving person who I have spent most of my life looking lost and hurt. Whilst I know dementia is a “one way street” I had not expected such a rapid deterioration in the man I love and will always love. He is only 64 now and was diagnose at the age of 55, in fact he is 6 weeks younger than me and its hard

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