I didn’t realise a broken heart actually hurts like real pain

Iv never felt so alone in my life. My partner and best friend and soulmate sadly passed away in November 2020 age 53 with covid. He went into hospital on 14th November with breathing difficulties within 6 days he was gone. I couldn’t visit him or see him in hospital then got a call to say come in on the 20th they told me he was gonna die that day. After putting me in ppe I was with him when he passed. I just feel lost alone (even though I’m not) even scared of the future my life will never be same again. I’m still in shock I don’t think I’ll ever get over this. I honestly didn’t realise a broken heart actually hurts like real pain. There just doesn’t seem to be a light at end of my tunnel.