I thought I would live my whole life in the UK. But it’s no longer a safe place for me.
I’m a trans woman. I transitioned, including hormone treatment and surgery, at a young age. None of my friends know that I’m trans. Even my in-laws don’t know. This isn’t because I’m ashamed to be trans. I just wanted to leave all that in the past and get on with my life.
And that’s what I’ve done. 25 years later, I’m a senior health professional with a career I love. I’m a married woman with a husband I love. I’m a daughter, sister and friend.
But all this has just been shattered.
I’m now barred from the safety of female spaces. The Government have stated that I should now use the men’s toilets and changing rooms – which inevitably leaves me vulnerable to verbal abuse and physical assault.
As someone who was sexually assaulted by a man a few years ago, I can’t go through that again.
It’s been said that I can use a ‘gender neutral’ space. In practice, this will usually mean a disabled toilet. This often won’t be available, and even when it is, it will inevitably lead to me being questioned as to why I’m using it, disclosing my trans status and again leaving me vulnerable to abuse and attack.
This news, along with the rise in vile abuse of trans people online, has left me terrified. Over the last week, my mental health has deteriorated rapidly. At one point I became suicidal. I can’t sleep and constantly feel sick with anxiety.
So, the only solution is to leave the country. As recent media reports show, I’m not the only trans woman doing this, with many already leaving the UK for their own safety. The only consolation is that we can fly in any direction and find a country in which trans people are protected.
As I leave, I know that not all is lost for the UK. While this change has been framed as a win for those advocating for women’s rights, it’s obviously not that simple. As Judith Butler explains, “most feminists support trans rights and oppose all forms of transphobia”. Thousands of women have already made clear through speaking out on social media, at protests and even in Parliament that they oppose the exclusion of trans women from female spaces.
Another note of optimism comes from many legal specialists who have highlighted that, despite claims from some groups, the Supreme Court Ruling doesn’t mean that trans women must be barred from female spaces. As the former Supreme Court Judge Lord Sumption said “That’s the main point, which I think has been misunderstood about this judgment… it’s quite important to note that you are allowed to exclude trans women from these facilities. But you are not obliged to do it.”
None of this, however, has stopped the Equalities and Human Rights Commission (EHRC)from rushing straight in (without consultation) to publish interim guidance that leaves trans people in a terrifying position. It states that “trans women (biological men) should not be permitted to use the women’s facilities and trans men (biological women) should not be permitted to use the men’s facilities”. The EHRC says that mixed-sex toilets can be provided “where possible”.
This guidance is likely to be challenged as going too far beyond what the Supreme Court Ruling actually set out. It may also be seen as dangerous in the light of international research evidence showing a significant rise in suicides among trans people when anti-trans regulations are put in place.
However, in the meantime it clearly makes the risk of me being abused, attacked or sexually assaulted too high for me to live with. As I said earlier, I can’t put myself at risk of that trauma again.
I’ll be devastated to leave my family, friends and career behind. But I’m obviously not the first person to leave their home country for their own safety. And I’m not the first person to rebuild their lives elsewhere. Many brave people throughout history have shown that it can be done. And thanks to the support of my amazing husband, I know I can do it too.
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