I found myself spending each day the same, we all joked about March being 3 months long so I wrote a poem about how my intrusive and darkest thoughts got so overwhelming from being isolated in my house and my bedroom. And this is that poem:
"My Bedroom Walls" - by Louise Robinson
I wake up and sit on my bed,
spend my day staring at my bedroom walls.
Talking to the person in my head,
and letting my textbooks fall.
Onto the floor, where I lay on my back,
Singing to the glowing stars on my ceiling.
It's always the same soundtrack,
playing in the back. I can't change the CD.
I guess it's my way of dealing
with having to spend all day with me.
Nothing makes me smile anymore
and my whole world sits within this box.
I don't know what I'm waking up for,
My bedroom door isn't even locked.
But I'm not leaving this room
and the thoughts aren't leaving soon.
I stay home and they're stuck within me.
Head in my HANDS
I don't recognize my FACE
My mind is dying in this SPACE
As I wake up again under those stars,
I lie to my therapist when he calls.
I tell him about the ways
I've been "coping"
during this lockdown.
And next week I won't answer the phone.
My broken heart will have opened my door.
My resting head will roll along the floor.
My spirit wont be locked up anymore.
Having to stare
At my bedroom walls.