Centre for Mental Health

The voice of experience

A personal account of the change process in day and vocational services

Carole Millard, June 2008

I came into the mental health services six years ago and ended up as a client at a day centre. Although I very much valued the 'safe space' and social contact the service offered I felt very 'stuck'. I felt defined and confined by a diagnosis of bipolar disorder: very much a 'service user'. I felt the expectation that this would be how my life is from now, both from myself and from the day centre.

This was at first devastating. I had built up a career spanning the previous 27 years yet sadly for a long time I believed that I would never work again.

I became involved with the review and re-commissioning of day and vocational services at the start of the process in February 2007. My main reason for doing so was a belief that the centre was under threat as a cost cutting exercise. Although I was well aware of some of the failings within the services (the main one being that I saw myself and others drawn into a service with nowhere else to go) I also felt that it was better than nothing and I wanted to support the service from possible closure.

As I started to learn more and progress through the process I came to a very different conclusion. I started to see that the review was about progress, improvement, empowerment for users of the service, choice and a way out: a springboard back into life. The review and re-commissioning embraced the philosophies of recovery and social inclusion in a very real and doable way. This was a real step forward for mental health services: a very important step for the future.

I am impressed by the commitment of the commissioners to bring about real change that will enhance the life of many and the way in which they have been willing and open to include the insight and experience that people who have used the services can bring. I am also very impressed with the work of Trinova whose expertise clearly shows and has informed the whole process.

In saying all this there has been a negative effect arising from my experience. I became increasingly uncomfortable within the day centre. I had information that I could not share with others. This proved to be more difficult than I had anticipated. The anxieties from clients and staff created questions I could not answer and I started to feel somewhat like I had "jumped to the other side". As a result of this I stopped going and therefore I lost my support. I personally took this as a challenge and have suffered no detrimental effects: but it has been painful and sadly I have lost some friends.

I believe it is vital that, before service users become involved in reviews and re-commissioning, they have as much information as possible regarding the reasons for the review, what it all entails, how long the process is likely to take and the possible problems of involvement.

For myself the involvement I have had during this time has given me back a belief in myself, a desire to return to work and a huge step forward in my own ongoing recovery. I feel extremely fortunate to have been part of the review and to have been able to use my own insight and experience to benefit others.